Flirting in the Digital Age - Part 2/x

••• today's entry continues here below •••

I am talking about mother nature herself. Chemicals and hormones that she has been carefully cultivating for thousands of years. (Denying the obvious can seem stupid from a certain standpoint.)

» Organic Flirting

But regarding the act of flirting itself (for me, anyway) .. the situation must present itself. If you go out of your way to flirt, the flirt loses its _______ (« you fill in the word. I am actually working on another thought, right now).

Then, if the situation presents itself and the spirit moves you .. you can either go with the flow (.. and see where it leads) .. or thwart mother nature herself.

But the organic-ness of the thing is what gives a flirt its special electricity. No?

» The Startle Effect

And I normally go for a bit of the startle effect, myself.

If a girl can handle with grace something that might disorient an ordinary girl ..

.. then she has a better chance of success with me.

So there is something of a test in the flirt. Two birds, one stone. After a while, you just cut straight to the chase .. forgoing the games.

Another idea that is passing thru my thoughts is » how I can be bad for girls. But that is another story. Which needs explaining. It goes with the idea of women saying » "We want your soul."

Because, if they want my soul (and not just my heart and my affection) then I am definitely bad for them.

» Have to be Feeling it (Organically) .. in Order to Flirt

My point (I know you won't believe it) » I can't flirt on demand, no. Rather, I have to feel it. And even then, I am often reluctant. (Tho rarely reticent.)

People have told me that I am a natural flirt, at times. (Know thyself.) Tho I must admit that I have not flirted with anyone in quite some time ..

.. probably the result of classical conditioning (Pavlovian style) ..

.. from the anguish brought about by relationships gone sour. So I have had no desire to.

And flirting is not something I can do without 'feeling' it.

I mean, yes, I am trying to hold myself back right now .. probably because of the bell that I hear Dr. Pavlov ringing. Ding-a-ling. Ding-a-ling.

» Proceeding Despite the Effects of Pavlovian Conditioning

Yet I can definitely feel something propeling me forward .. in that general direction. Something that feels natural. Very natural. Not forced. It seems to come on its own.

Kinda interesting, in a way. I definitely detect some resonance with you. (On multiple levels.)

And repression, you know, has been linked to many psychological disorders. So maybe I should just go with the flow .. and see where it leads.

You must admit, I am creative. I surprise myself, at times.

Normally these things (flirting) are done mano-a-mano. So this is where the creativity comes in.

But no, I never think » "Oh, I am going to flirt with this girl." Rather, it's usually because I can't stop myself .. or don't even recognize that I am doing it.

Me to myself » "Dude I can't believe what I am hearing you say to this girl. Have you forgotten so quickly? Does the word » 'trouble' mean anything to you?"

» Chemistry Required

There has to be chemistry. How can you flirt with someone with whom you feel no chemistry?

I have never given it much thought before, but now that I am trying to » know thyself (better all the time). I have been looking more closely.

» What is Flirting?

As a recognized expert on the subject ..

.. I think that flirting is merely » reaching out and touching someone ..

.. who you feel resonates at/with a similar frequency (as your own) ..

.. in such a way as to express that there is something about this person that you appreciate.

But it takes time to get to know someone that well .. so there is a feeling-out phase. Which is only respectful .. so you don't offend. In other words .. I rarely have someone with whom I am flirting respond in a negative way.

No, flirting doesnt mean that you have to make babies tonight. Altho when I think of how both the Bug and I were born in January (one day apart) ..

.. it seems that the month of April (+9) is when the reproductive genes really seem to kick into high gear.

My point » you only 'flirt' with people with whom you feel there is something there. Some kind of connection. Some kind of mutual understanding, or at least perceived as so.

» Red Hot

Oh, I see you have gone to wearing a red shirt. Hot red. Very clever. We should probably cool it .. or people will start to talk.

Speaking about the color of shirts .. here is a shirt with an interesting color. Something about that color makes me feel right at home. You are very photogenic. You dont look nervous at all talking to these big mucky-mucks. Very comfortable.

If I were a pretty girl like you, I would say » "Steve, could you put me on your top-400 list?"

By the way, I would bounce off what Steve said and also what this guy said .. with what Edsall wrote about here. See the problem? The disconnect?

That other guy seems to be living in the past. In other words, today's economic problems transcend and eclipse yesterday's solutions. (To his credit, he at least acknowledges a crisis.)

[ The theme of Edsall's piece reminded me of my 2011 piece here. I love Edsall. He kicks much ass. ]

» The Yearning

Oh, the red hot shirt is back.

I have always like the way Yahoo Finance videos start talking (for a few secs) before you see the image (of the speaker).

Tho I am not sure why.

[After much technical research it seems that this is just the way my slow, crappy laptop plays Yahoo videos.]

Anyway » yearning. Now there's a word you don't hear every day.

Unfortunately, the yearning that I have will not likely be satisfied with anything you can find at Netflix ..

.. or by anything you can purchase from Amazon. [ Yeah, that's flirting. ]

» Vibing With Plausible Deniability (Quantum Entanglement)

Oh .. I just noticed that I used the word 'yearning' myself .. down below. Are you vibing off me? I think you are.

[ My ego says » "Dude, how can she not?" Tho another part of me is entertaining the notion of plausible deniability of the whole thing. (To protect you.) ]

Speaking of my ego .. it is saying » "Dude, tell her that this shit is not as easy as you make it look."

» Passing Quickly Thru the Destructive Frequency Zone During Reactor Plant Main Engine Start-Up

Vibing .. now THERE is a concept worth exploring, no? Now is not the time to go there .. but remind me to tell you about how we were trained [ we reactor plant operators ] to PASS THRU QUICKLY the (destructive) "resonance frequency" ..

.. when starting up the MAIN ENGINES (steam turbines) of a reactor plant on a nuclear submarine.

You can't AVOID the resonance frequency .. no. Rather you minimize the damage by » passing thru quickly. (And going beyond to something higher, faster, more stable, in the zone, so to speak.).

In other words, there is a certain speed, a certain RPM, where all the IMBALANCES in a high-speed main engine (steam turbine) congregate. And if you spend very much time there the main engine will start to come apart.

The main engines (2) are the motive force that turns the big screw that propels a submarine thru the water. There are also two other steam turbines that turn electrical generators that power all of a ship's electrical needs.

It is a very cool thing to start up a reactor plant. My favorite part comes when you hear the announcement » "Attention in the engineering spaces. The reactor is critical." Ooh, baby.

My second-favorite announcement comes shortly thereafter » "In the engineering spaces, the reactor is at the point of adding heat."

When you can usually hear someone shouting » "Alright! Let's make some fucking steam and fire this bitch up!"

[ You know how sailors are 'colorful' with the language. ]

The engineering spaces [ 2 compartments each with 2 levels ] are quiet when shutdown. Quiet and cold.

But once you fire up the reactor, and start making steam .. shit gets noisy. Very noisy. And warm. Very warms (steam).

Especially in the engine room, tho I usually stood watches in machinery II lower level, where the boiler water chemistry sampling station was located.

There is a hum to everything. A beautiful hum. A wonderful hum. A powerful hum. Vibration. Resonance. (Cantcha feel it?)

I can't believe that I'm writing this shit .. who knows where this comes from? .. but it does sound interesting.

But returning to my earlier theme about starting up the main engines of reactor plant ..

.. I have noticed how some people seem to enjoy hanging out in that (destructive) resonance frequency. Not me. I have spent so much time there ..

.. that, if I never spend another day .. that is fine by me. Thank-you, very much. Feel me?

Joyce said » "A man's mistakes are portals of discovery." I have had many such portals.

Besides, that is not where I excel. No. I suk at that. Rather my talents lie in other areas. But we won't go there right now. Maybe later I will give you a tour of my talents. ]

To be honest .. regarding my use of the word 'yearning' .. I often work on multiple entries at different times and may actually forget what I have (already) written .. in other parts of other entries.

This is why I try to lift out sections that focus on a particular theme or on a single topic and transfer them to their own, separate entry-page. They allow for better focus.

I have not "reached out" to you (.. beyond what I do here) .. because (it has been my experience that) it takes a certain kind of women to handle me. The real me. After you get beyond the initial superficial niceties. That sounds so pretentious, sure, but it's something which I can totally understand. Because I have trouble handling myself at times. But we are who we are. And therefore I am what I am. And things often end badly. Disastrously, even. And I do not want such disaster to come to you. Did you notice how the wolfman always tries to get somebody to lock him up in a room .. when he sees the full moon approaching? He doesnt want to devour the young maidens. But he cant help himself.

And if a woman wants me to change .. to be something that I am not .. for her .. then it seems that she does not really care for me or about me. The real me.

Love always gives more than it demands. This is why I feel that someone who demands more than they give does not really love me or care about me.

And if someone does not really love you or care about you .. then why would you ever want to be with them? (Yes. that's a rhetorical question.)

If things are meant to be, then the universe will make that happen. Until then .. we can have lots of fun playing with the possibility.

I definitely like you .. on a level beyond (merely) the physical. And I respect you and admire you. This seems, to me, to offer unlimited possibilities .. far as relationships go.

You may not believe it, but I am trying to restrain myself. But it is not working very well. And I admit that it is not wise to thwart mother nature.

I like the way you tease Aaron. "I know this is the one that you're excited about, Aaron."

[ .. the Rent-the-Runway service that features dresses and purses .]

Very nice. You made him laugh. Touché. That kind of gentle busting seems to be a New York thing, no? 

[ The Dog is a master of that. Tho you obviously need a certain sensitivity in order to pull it off with grace. A sensitivity that you seem to have. You will not find many girls who are able to pull that off. This is another discussion entirely, but worth mentioning here, perhaps. In order to pull this off, the person who you are giving shit to must know that you genuinely care for them. Or you risk offending them. And I know it seems far-fetched and maybe even fantastic, but not-everybody has the genuine caring thing decoded. ]

Aaron totally has the geek/nerd look going on .. does he not?

You and Aaron should sign up for Wipeout's » Hotties vs Nerds. (I will root for you.) Should I call Jill for you? And tell her to put you and Aaron on the list?

But before I leave this section on yearning .. don't you think that most people have a yearning to be noticed and appreciated and admired? I read somewhere (Maslow maybe?) that this is a key human desire.

Maybe even thee key desire (a craving maybe). Ooh .. craving. Now there's an interesting word, no?

Oh, look at that .. craving » means yearning. (No, I did not plan that.) I think I see a pattern starting to develop here.

Okay .. fuck it .. let's try this cool, new Twenty-first century avant-gardist thing. Here is how it works .. I am going to send you a message .. that resonates at/with a certain frequency ..

.. and you see if you get my message. Are you feeling it? Should I turn up the volume? Or turn it down? Or shift over into 'experimental' mode?

What can you handle? Should I unleash the beast? And morph into various shades-of-gray?

» Sexy, Intimate, Creative, Fun, Smart, Educated, with the Glow

Okay .. I see you are getting my message. Wow, you are a quick learner. (It must be true what everybody says about you.)

Has the airline industry become sexy?

It has when you're the only one on the plane, saying » "Imagine this," and "Imagine that."

"Much sexier," says my imagination.

I mean, there you are sitting at the edge of extra-long seat on a private jet, saying, "Imagine..."

And then you are » lying down .. and I think » "Have mercy, girl."

So we will do this thing .. this secret, creative thing .. that only we know about. Our own private secret.

I will configure the site so that only you can read what is written here.

With a special next-generation encryption. That I have designed myself. (Or at least we can pretend that no one is watching.)

And if anyone does crack the code and peek .. and eavesdrop on us .. then that will make them something of a voyeur. Kinky voyeurs .. who like to watch. I'm sure that is one of the fifty shades.

We will create something that has never been created before. (Tho who knows how it will turn out.)

In our own special place .. where nobody else but we can go. A place of trust .. where you can let your guard down and relax. This is what intimacy is all about.

A cottage in the woods .. near a lake, or a pond. With a garden surrounding it. Or maybe near a river.

A place where poetry is read. And where the coffee is yummy. And wine. Red in the winter and white in the summer.

There is nothing more beautiful, I am convinced, than a woman in love. That glow. That indescribable glow .. that no amount of make-up can replicate.

That no amount of skill or artistry can truly mimic. You know I'm right.

I think they call it » oxytocin. The "neurotransmitter of intimacy."

The "bonding hormone". The "trust hormone." The "love molecule." Au nauturel, baby. The real deal. No artificial sweetners added. Arent neurotransmitters wonderful?

One of my goals here .. I am learning .. as a writer .. is to » leave the reader feeling like » it has really happened for them. Or maybe even » is still happening for them.

Hemingway talks about this. I will go find you the exact quote later. But this is what he calls the "the magic" and "the secret".

Because you tend to operate over in this intuitive area .. which can defy rational logic. But insists very strongly that you do indeed defy logic.

I sorta think that the writer can only use himself is determining what and how to write .. so that this feeling of really having experienced the thing about which he is writing .. feels like it actually happened for the reader.

I would not object to someone using the term » esoteric .. in order to describe the process.

And I could wax verbose here .. tho a part of me is skeptical of anything that you can measure with a ruler or weigh with a scale.

But my point is this (and it should seem obvious) » if the reader IS LIKE YOU (you the writer) .. then they will receive the feeling behind the message. And if they ARENT .. then how can they possibly relate?

And the more they resonate with you .. the more they will 'get it.' Seems plausible, no?

I mean, sure, I could just come over there and throw you down and whip some serious oxytocin on you.

Of course. But that's the easy way. That's almost like cheating.

But as a writer .. how do you create that same effect using only words?

Using only sentences? Using only paragraphs? Using only pages? Which contain pictures and other graphics? See my point? Not so easy.

» Exquisitely Attuned

Oh .. check out paragraph #6 in this (seemingly unrelated) » article.. which begins by saying » "The human brain can be exquisitely attuned to other people, thanks in part to its so-called mirror system."

and ends by saying » "Our brains appear to be able to intimately resonate with others' actions, and this process may allow us not only to understand what they are doing, but also, in some sense, to experience it ourselves -- i.e., to empathize."

Is this not very close to what I am talking about? (or trying to.) They call it a "mirror system."

Sometimes I think people from the Times read my site and then post shit they know I will enjoy.

I was struck particularly by the last part .. where it says » "in some sense, to experience it ourselves."

Sharing cool experiences with cool people (.. my experience has been) » is a very cool thing.

I also took note that they used the word » exquisitely. Not all of the experiences that we share with others can be described as » exquisite. But some can.

Here are some definitions of the word »

1. Characterized by intricate and beautiful design or execution
2. Of such beauty or delicacy as to arouse intense delight
3. Acutely perceptive or discriminating
4. Of special beauty or rare excellence

I am something of a neck-man, myself. A throat man. I must have some vampire blood in me. Because the panther in me (automatically) goes straight for the neck. Grab the hair firmly, and peels back access to the throat.

I breathe some warm breath there to highen sensitivity .. and then I can feel the fangs come out .. which I scrape up and down the entire length of the neck. Gently at first. Teasingly. Then more roughly. (I can't help myself.)

And when you talk sometimes .. the muscles in your neck flex. And something in me imagines me peeling your neck .. like a banana. To expose your throat. We'll call him 'the beast'. (I will grab you a screen shot of what I'm talking about.)

In relationships, people adapt to the person who they are with .. hopefully because you want to express the love that you have for them .. and not to express anything negative. (Except for a few days each month.)

Phillip Seymour Hoffman has spoken about (9th paragraph) this "magic secret" .. whereby you (somehow) convince the viewer that something that is not really happening .. is really happening.

The fact that such a thing is even possible .. is remarkable in itself. But paragraph #6 here seems to suggest that you can take it the next level. From believing it is happening .. to » experiencing it.

Enough of this esoteric stuff. But, if you are gonna be a muse .. then I guess you have a right to know.

When I think of the concept of how something » esoteric might work ..

.. I think about what John wrote that Jesus said » here.

[ Oh, see that you have posted a text+photos entry. I admit to missing your voice .. but remind me to tell you about how the writing of radiation surveys turned out to be one of my most influential influences.

I learned that some people are text peole. While other are "picture" people. So the best documents (I learned) include BOTH » text (clear) and imiges/photos (representative).

It's a subject actually worth delving into .. but now is not the time. (And now we have video to accompany out text and our images.) ]

All relationships, I have heard, need to involve a creative outlet .. where you can focus the ecstasy and bliss that you get from creatively vibing with someone whose company you genuinely enjoy.

I will fix for you my puttanesca. No mere mortal woman has ever been able to resist my puttanesca.

"If you're scared, SAY your scared," as Lance used to say in that gently taunting way. (You know what Shakespeare said.) If not, let's do this thing .. this Twenty-first century thing.

Do you like when the guy grabs the reins and runs? Or do you prefer to bring your own bag-of-tricks to the rodeo?

I have pretty impressive array of creative tricks myself .. if you just wanna chill and let me go to work.

But I am always up for learning a new trick or two. [ Is it getting hot in here, or what? I'm sweating. ]

I guess we need to come up with a secret song .. like they do in Moulin Rouge (.. the secret lovers). Any ideas? Any themes of inspiration?

The » Twenty-First Century Muse

Have you ever been a muse before? What are your feelings on muses in general?

From what I have been able to ascertain .. and I am no expert, trust me .. is that ..

.. the core functions of a muse are these » inspire, stimulate, evoke, provoke (if necessary), challenge-to-greatness.

By bringing out that within him that he cannot get out by himself .. and which causes him to go beyond himself. (Transcend himself by turning his limitations into advantages and stepping stones.)

And while it may be true that a muse need not be beautiful .. trust me when I say that » nobody will hold that against you.

Then there comes a whole slew of auxilary functions that come under the heading of » negotiable. Which we can discuss later .. at the appropriate time .. and in the appropriate place.

But this typically involves some sort of liberating cathartic experience .. provided on a periodic basis.

I bet this is a proposition you don't often get. (To be a muse.) And I feel confident that you get plenty of them. [ « That is a more sophisticated form of flirting. The more intelligent and educated and secure the woman .. the more "intricately patterned" the flirt can be. So yeah, you want a smart girl. A sharp girl. ]

Here is a book on being a muse .. titled » The Lives of the Muses: Nine Women & the Artists They Inspired.

Sophy addresses the things associated with muses in her chapter titled » Prayer and Invocation (page 53 in the hard-back). Definitely one of my favorite chapters. Just a few pages.

And she finishes her book in the chapter titled » Closing the Circle thusly » ".. when the Muse arrives and sweeps him up in her arms, away on a river of good words. Then he knows there is nothing finer he could have in life, nothing more that anyone could want."

Here is an article titled » Madness & the Muse about a recognized expert on the subject of creativity (Nancy Andreasen) who references a landmark study that found that "eight out of 10 writers had experienced some form of mental illness .."

.. to which my cynical self spoke up and said » "Well, aint that encouraging." [ Thanks Tom Bartlett, whoever you are. ]

I could easily veer off on the subject and never come back .. so I won't. (Even tho I so badly want to.)

But speaking of literary muses .. you should interview Salinger's young friend and ask her if she served as his muse .. or just as his lover. I'm curious. Guess I could just read the book. This movie was based on one of her books.

Notice here how I am playing off my offer of Muse-dom with how Salinger sent that young girl (tho she is not young any more) .. how he sent her a letter ..

.. how he responded to her [ the article she wrote for the NY Times ] .. how he responded IN WRITING .. and how many guys responded ..

.. but his [ Salinger's] had that something special .. that she wanted or needed (or both).

Pretty girl. Smart girl. Yale girl. Sexy girl .. she has options, no? (Yes.) She can have her pick suitors .. of good, better, best, more best, and incredibly awesome. You know what I am saying.

Anyway .. notice how I am playing that story off of you .. because that kind of flirting .. seems to come from "beyond" me.

And to be honest, teenagers have a lot to learn. (She was just a teeager when she shacked up with Salinger.) I know that I did (have a lot to learn) when I was a teenager.

In other words, I would not be much excited at the prospect of an 18- or 19-year old girl (teenager) coming to visit me in my secluded castle. But a grown-ass woman .. with skills .. with highly-refined skills .. now we're talking. Now you're cooking with plutonium.

Tho an elderly man once advised to me to find a "young" one .. and take good care of her. Because (his theory went) » after they been around a while » they've probably been screw-over by enough guys that they start to resent them.

And because they can no longer take out their hostility and frustration on old boy-friends .. that means they will take it out on you. [ which some guys seem to enjoy, but not me. ]

Do you find the idea of being written about .. do you find that seductive? I know some girls do. I know that some girls will go to great lengths .. to have you write about them.

All of Hemingway's women have been immortalized forever. (And none of them are half as hot as you. A flirt, yes. But it's so true and you know it. Those Hem has a grand-daughter who is very hot .. in an artistic sense.) And many of his friends, too. [ Immortalized forever. ]

[ If you search for the query » hemingway online, you can't miss her. When I first saw her, I thought » "There are crazy genes in the Hemingway family .. and we all do what we NEED to do .. in order to stay sane. And if THIS is what you need to do .. to stay sane .. who am I to judge?" ]

I will certainly win the Nobel prize for Literature for this entry. Maybe even a few other categories, too. But it will probibly take the committee at Nobel many years to figure out I deserve it ..

.. like they did with Einstein .. after experiments in 1919 proved correct his revolutionary theories about gravity bending light.

And he says to his ex-wife » "Didnt I tell you that I would win the Nobel? Oh ye of little faith."

» To be continued. This entry remains a work-in-progress. It's still fairly rough. I will work my craft and smooth it out.

The rest of the text that will eventually go into this entry can be found in the » archive for May. ■

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