Mom's Curse & the Bossy Bug

The Bug was downright BOSSY this week. I wouldn't call it 'grumpy,' cuz .. long as we did whatever he wanted, he was happy as pie. The laughs came easy & often. But if not, he displayed a side I'd never seen before.

GrumpyFor example: he called out as we crossed at a major intersection, Dad, that's *five* things you did that I'm NOT happy about. His tone none too pleasant.

[ He wanted to stop at a toy store we passed. I wanted to get a coffee first. ]

I've long encouraged him to express his displeasures. Some parents might discourage such things, but this becomes important when you can't be there all the time. (You know.)

Plus, we have so little time together. Don't want to waste even a minute trying to intuit what he does and doesn't like. And of course I feel bad that his life has been controlled by the courts since he was only 5 months old .. before he could take his first step.

Five? I asked, as we rode our bikes up onto the sidewalk on the other side. What five things?

No trouble did he have (whatsoever) listing them for me .. in chronological order, no less. Had a bada-bing flavor to it.

First, he says (in Mr. Bossy tone), you didn't tell me a story yesterday when I asked you to.

He's not talking about reading him a story. (That would be too easy.) No. He wants me to MAKE-UP a story. (A new one every week.)

This is probably the most difficult thing he asks me to do. If you've never done it, it's surprisingly difficult to concoct a story on-the-fly. Moreover, he wants me to make-up these stories while we're riding our bikes (.. dodging bumpers .. which requires a degree of attention).

After he finished detailing all five transgressions (in remarkably lucid detail), I asked, Didn't you like when we went to the fun zone yesterday? (He agreed that he did.) And didn't you like when we rode across on the Balboa Island ferry? (He again agreed that he did.) And didn't you enjoy the Balboa bar (ice cream) we got at Dad's?

Yeah, he agreed. But that was *yesterday*, dad! [ The song » What-Have-You-Done-for-Me-Lately came to mind. ]

Well, I said (calling back over my shoulder), seems you're counting the things you DON'T like about yesterday, but NOT counting the things you DID like.

A few seconds passed before he uttered his response. As God is my witness, he shouted » Right! =)

••• today's entry continues here below •••

Couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that a lady waiting to exit a parking lot broke out in a big smile as we passed by. That doesn't seem very fair, I said, but thanked him for telling me how he felt and told him that was good to do.

The CurseWhile growing up, I always knew when my mom was at the end of her rope, cuz she would uttered a familiar oath. She'd point her finger and say » I hope you have a son *just* like you. So you see what you put me thru. =)

Mom did not intend this in the traditional may-god-bless-the-fruit-of-your-loins sense. Not hardly. And don't think her statement didn't echo in my ears 6 years ago, when the pre-natal doctor who was working the ultrasound probe asked, If I can tell the sex, would you want to know?

Fact that he was born on the day before my birthday did raise a few eyebrows. (Six hours later and he woulda been born ON my birthday.)

My mom was 19 when she had me. For the first time, I can see what she was trying to say. The Bug was, uh .. difficult. At 5, you can't make them do anything. No. You have to deal with them. (And I refuse to resort to » Cuz I said so.)

I multiplied what I saw this week by 10 more years and .. it could be a challenge. Seems like he grew up 5 years in the last 5 months. Can almost hear hear mom chuckling .. looking down from above.

StorytimeAfter dropping him off at the day-care at the end of the week, I thought about a million different things on the way home .. and made several phone calls (therapy).

Soon as I arrived back home 45 minutes later, I called the day-care and asked if he was still there. (He was.) I asked his teacher to relay a message.

"Tell him I love him and that I had a really good time with him this week."

( I never did that before. ) Whatever the problem with kids might be, love should be part of the response .. no? I read somewhere that love never fails. (Tho it does seem to get beat up quite a bit.)

Never told this to anybody, but my second-biggest regret (regarding the Bug) is that .. my folks never got a chance to meet him, nor he them. He's pretty cool. (They both died before he was born.)

What's the favorite thing I do that you like best? I asked him yesterday.

I like when you tell me stories, he said. Really? I asked. Why's that?

Cuz you tell good stories.

Every time I take him back at the end of our time together, he says (almost pleading), Tell me a story. I try to be sensitive to the fact that he might not be getting enough time with his dad. Nothing I can do about that. But I can try to do more in the time we DO have.

Once upon a time there was .. a boy and his dad...

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This page contains a single entry by Rad published on May 1, 2010 5:01 AM.

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