» I get the Bug this week (Whoohoo!) cuz he's got the week off. I'm very excited. He had his first big District tests last week, which are supposed to be pretty tough. His mom said he got as high a score as possible to get.
And he told me how his class got the highest Math scores in the WHOLE SCHOOL ..
.. and that the Principle came to their room to give them an award. So naturally, I'm very proud.
I've started teaching him little Dad insights .. beginning with » "Think for yourself. Trust yourself. Be yourself." (.. which he knows by heart.)
On deck » "You can do anything you set your mind to."
And did I tell you that he got his FIRST KISS? .. from one of the prettiest little girls you've ever seen. (It was dark out in front of the pizza place that night, but I think he blushed.)
An Older Woman
She's an older woman (.. in 2nd grade). And being the kind of girl who doesnt realize how pretty she is makes her all the more adorable.
Earlier that day I heard her ask him » "Okay. Truth or dare. Have you ever kissed a girl?" (.. pointing her little finger at his mouth.)
I was thinking » "Oh. My. Gawd." (Kinda freaked me out a little.)
I didnt have a girlfriend until 6th grade (.. a girl who'd just moved here from Italy) .. and I was petrified. Never did kiss her. Not that she wasnt a hottie, but girls in Italy grow up much faster (.. I learned). I found her pretty intimidating, to be honest.
Anyway, this girl who gave him a kiss has an older, teenage sister .. from whom the younger, I think, is learning tricks.
She and the Bug were saying goodbye after playing together one afternoon. While they hugged (.. like they've always done) she snuck in a goodbye kiss.
But .. he was wearing a hooded sweatshirt, so she ended up kissing the side of his hood. She pulled back a little to size-up the situation.
If I were a cartoonist, I would write the following text in her dialogue bubble:
"Now, wait a minute, here. You're not getting off THAT easy."
She then peeled back the hood covering one side of his face and planted a big, deliberate kiss. Right there on his cheek.
Kids these days. Not sure if I'm ready for this stuff. Things are moving so quickly there (.. while this stuff goes so slowly. Talk about relativity).
••• today's entry continues here below •••
Little Miss Affection
She's very affectionate with him. So natural about it, too, like it comes easy for her. Little kids are so honest about everything.
Sometimes when he's playing an online-game, for example, she'll come up behind him, very casually, and wrap both arms around his neck and peer over his shoulder at the screen .. coaching and encouraging and commending his play.
Other times she'll scooch right up behind him, on the same round disc-like low stool seat, which is barely big enough for both their little butts. So she's basically WRAPPED AROUND him while he plays (.. almost like he was WEARING her).
Playing a game .. with a pretty girl wrapped around you .. telling you how wonderful you are. Is there anything better? =)
Or maybe she is just copying me .. cuz I will sometimes pull up a chair behind him while he plays, and wrap myself around him .. to be close.
[ When you only have limited time together, you need to make every minute count. ]
Several people have asked if they were brother & sister. They're both seven. Yeah, 7. (She's an impressive little gamer herself.)
She helps him with his homework. "Oh, this is easy. I had this last year."
I find it a techno-zeitgeist that these two 7-year olds each have their OWN cell phone, so they can call each other whenever they like.
In fact, I just received a call from the little girl earlier today .. asking about our next "playdate". Of course, I thanked her for calling. So cute, her little voice on the phone. (She is a Newport Beach girl, btw.)
Intuition
I have never met the little girl's dad. [ Her grandpa normally brings her. ] But her dad is somebody I can relate to. And something inside told me .. to be extra nice to her, kind, patient, understanding.
To treat her special. The way I would want someone to treat the Bug were I in her dad's shoes. Feel me? Cuz we reap what we sow .. in due time. So I want to be sowing the best seeds I can in that area, in that field. (Just in case.)
This isnt as easy as it might seem, tho .. for TWO reasons.
ONE, because I dont really 'get' girls (.. perhaps cuz I never had any sisters). She can be a handful for her grandpa. Her mom told me, "Oh, yeah. She OWNS Grandpa!" [ Grandpa is her mom's dad. ]
Clearly, sometimes, she frustrates & upsets Grandpa. (But he obviously loves her despite her girly stuff. Most of the time, she's adorable & even tries to be helpful.)
Friends have told me that, if I had a daughter instead of a son, I would adapt. But I can see (easily) how I would be at a severe disadvantage with a daughter. I dont know how to handle them.
And TWO, because the Bug is sometimes jealous of my attention. Always has been.
Tho more jealous at certain times than others. (Which I cant quite figure out why. Perhaps he just feels insecure at certain times.)
And whatever she sees HIM do (.. such as climbing up on my lap) .. SHE wants to do, too.
Most of the time, he's okay with this, but I have to be careful that he knows and feels like he's my #1 priority (.. which he is).
Most of the time, I am the one who watches the kids .. while Grandpa rests (.. cuz he's nearly 80 and not in the best of health, in and out of the hospital more frequently then I'm comfortable with).
And they can be competitive, at times. So when there's a dispute to resolve, I usually lean in HER favor .. cuz:
- She's a girl and he's a boy.
- She's not my daughter and you have to be careful about disciplining other people's kids.
- She has problems in her life that could be life-traumatizing .. especially for such a little thing.
Anyway, the short version is » the Bug LET ME KNOW that he is not digging this pattern, this trend.
[ He communicates in his own way, but with surprising clarity .. for a 7-year old. I mean, it doesnt happen very often, but I'm talking about when he's not happy about something. =) ]
So we had a talk .. a walking talk .. that both began & ended with me re-assuring him .. that he was, and always would be, the #1 most important thing in my life.
But .. I also explained that ..
.. sometimes things happen to ADULTs .. to moms & dads .. that can AFFECT their kids.
And this ISNT FAIR to the kids, cuz the kids did NOTHING WRONG. But it can AFFECT them anyway.
Here's where he asked me what the word 'affect' meant.
[ This is a surprisingly difficult word to define in 7-year old terms, especially amid the other, rather deep conversation we were having. ]
Anyway, I told him how sometimes, when these things happen, the BEST thing a kid needs .. is a FRIEND .. who is their own age. And that sometimes part of being-a-friend means not getting your own way all the time.
» If Something Were to Happen to Me
And that good dads sometimes will try to be a dad to a kid who might not have a dad of their own, or who cant see their dad .. for some reason. And if something ever happened to me, I would want other dads to be extra nice to HIM .. just like I'm trying to be to HER.
He got it. (I'm so proud of him.)
» I Won't Let Anything Happen to Me
Tho he stipulated a qualifier » "I dont want anything to happen to you."
"Okay," I said, "I wont let anything happen to me."
"Is that even possible?" he asked.
"Anything is possible," I said. (He didnt ask any more questions.)
Anyway, I find some of the vagaries of Parenting far more complicated & challenging .. than simpler things, such as » Nuclear Power or Reactors or Calculus. Sometimes I feel like such a parenting n00b. Humbling.
But I also find it curious .. how I had these impressions (.. that this little girl needs a father-like figure .. to be nice to her) .. BEFORE I ever learned about her dad. (These are things you dont share until the relationship enters into a place of .. TRUST.)
So it seems like my intuitions were accurate, that they've have been validated.
And I normally try to honor my intuition, even more so after I learned of her "situation".
I've never felt that sense of emotional responsibility with/for any other child .. 'cept the Bug. I mean, I have my hands full with him.
[ This section on Intuition is one of the more candid I've published .. way down there .. where I live & breathe. ]
One of my biggest disappointments as a parent .. has been that it looks like he'll be an only-child, which could be lonely. So the fact that they seem like siblings makes me happy .. tho this kissing thing adds an element I hadnt expected .. well, certainly not this soon.
They've known each other quite a while now. He has met her mom, and she has met his mom, tho the moms have never met (yet). I dont even wanna think about them as teenagers. Seems like just yesterday when I was changing his diapers. ■
NOTE » Today's entry originally spilled into another topic, which was different enough to warrant its own, separate post .. see here » A Strange Development | Surprisingly Aggressive High School Girls
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