The Bug is reading! Was so not expecting this. Least not yet.
Back when I attended kindergarten, I learned to play with toys (.. no problem there) and how to share them with other kids (.. bit more of a challenge). Also learned to put my head down and pretend I was asleep. Wasn't until first grade that we learned to read (.. in Connecticut).
He however, brought home some 'homework' .. to read as many words from a list fast as possible.
[ Homework in kindergarten? What's the world coming to? ]
You can read?
I exclaimed, examining the sheet.
Yeah, dad. It's easy. Watch.
That's it!
I said, I'm not taking you to that school any more. They're teaching you *way* too much stuff!
» Magic Week
This was one of those "magic weeks." I mean, he was in a super mood. The whole time. Happy, playful. Lots of laughs. My heart was singing.
All child development metrics fade in relevance if the kids aren't happy. What really stood out, tho .. was the way his communication skills took a quantum leap.
Don't get me wrong; he has always been a good talker (.. except for some stuttering when he was 2). His vocabulary has been the most frequent compliment he gets.
He's cautious with people who he doesn't know, but he can carry on a decent conversation with adults he likes. And he has the coolest voice. People seem surprised at some of the things that come out of his mouth. (Kids are so honest, so transparent.)
He's my only, so he's all I know. So naturally, I think everything he does & says is normal. But others suggest otherwise.
» Vocabulary Takes a Quantum Leap
This week brought an explosive torrent of sentences .. that came pouring out of him .. so rapidly that I wasn't even paying attention to what he was saying ..
.. cuz I couldn't get over his wielding of the language. Something about Anakin Skywalker & the Star Wars clone troopers. You know.
I was like » Oh. My. God.
Freaked me out a little. He's talking on an entirely different level. Felt like saying, "Who are you?"
Seems child development isn't necessarily linear. Things are obviously clicking for him.
My friend Tom (the rock-climbing stud) says, They learn a lot in kindergarten.
I'm feeling very good about the little guy. This week was one of our best yet. I'm glowing. Extremely satisfied.
I put serious effort into filling that boy with as much LOVE as I can muster. For his whole life. His tiny hand was holding my pinky when the nurse shot him in the thigh with vitamin-K just minutes after he was born.
[ That's gotta suk. Welcome to the world. Bamm! Here's a needle in your leg. And there's more where that came from. ]
I was talking to him the whole time .. in the most soothing (familiar) voice I could summon » Everything's okay. Daddy's here. Welcome to the world, little man. We've been waiting for you. You're beautiful.
••• today's entry continues here below •••
» Love is...
In one of her books I've been reading, little Alice Miller (..who I discovered while researching how Nietzsche became Nietzsche..) actually *defines* the term » LOVE .. as it applies to parents caring for their children.
Not that it hasn't been done before (.. I'm sure it has) .. but I never heard anyone ever come right out and actually define the word like that. I mean, love means different things to different people.
Alice says (translated from German):
"When children are born, what they need most from their parents is love, by which I mean affection, attention, care, protection, kindness, and the willingness to communicate."
Six things. Must say, I sync nicely with her definition. If you've been following my 'fatherhood' posts over the years, you know how closely my notion of love (parenting) resembles hers.
Alice says a lot of other interesting things about parenting, and about how bad parents screw up good kids. The consequences of which can be so, uh .. what's the word? .. ah » lasting. But that's another story.
I don't want to be laying on my death bed, plagued with doubts & regrets .. that maybe the consequences of my parenting were anything but 'cultivating' .. to borrow a word that Nietzsche likes to use. I mean, that would be hell.
I know a guy whose granddaughter just killed herself. Suicide. She left behind a 20-page letter, detailing her despair. Beautiful girl. Wealthy family. Good education. 18.
[ I don't think I could handle something like that. Pretty sure it would crush me (.. beyond repair). I mean, an accidental death would be hard enough to handle. ]
Kids need to be a priority. Too often they're not. They need to feel loved. Too often they don't. Nobody said it would be easy. Cuz it ain't.
» Parenting Not Easy
An article published in last week's LA Times featured a quote by Helena Bonham Carter, who said » The parenting bit is much harder than the acting bit. You just never know what to do.
She and hubby Tim Burton are taking parenting classes. (Actually, seems they never married.) Her comments validate my feelings. They have two kids, ages 7 and 3.
No, parenting ain't easy .. even under the best of circumstances.
Reactors are easy compared to parenting. (Cuz reactors are predictable.)
[ I enjoy pretty much everything HBC does. Especially loved her in Fight Club. ]
I attended parenting classes myself. (Co-parenting, actually.) Twice. Eight weeks each time. 2006 and again early 2009. Very good. (Court ordered .. for parents who have trouble getting along.) Time well spent.
Everybody in your class claims that the 'evil person' is sitting in the other classroom. (The combatants, uh, I mean 'parents' are assigned to different classrooms.)
But it's easy to see (after 8 weeks) where the problems lie. (I stayed late after class one week, where the instructor confirmed my impressions.)
Some of these parents can't get over being rejected. That seems to be the thing that bothers people the most. They focus more on how badly the other parent treated them than the needs of their kid(s).
I remember feeling irritated with one such guy. He had a beautiful 4-year old son. I still remember his son's name (..tho I forget the guy's name).
When picking up his son, this guy complained about not wanting to take/bring along a security blanket or stuffed animal that the boy used at his mom's, and fighting with his ex about it. I finally said (sitting in a big circle):
"Dude, your son is 4 years old. His mom and his dad are separated. He doesn't care whose fault it was. Now if he needs the kitchen sink to feel better about making the transition, then go get your toolbox, unbolt the thing, and throw it in your trunk."
Everybody else jumped on him after that, so I kinda felt bad. But he was just so caught up in demonizing his wife that he was ignoring (blind to?) the needs of his son. That obviously torques me.
We've all been wronged & hurt at one time or another. Welcome to the club. Have a seat. Someone will be right with you.
On the other hand, I realize the birth-of-a-child changes the chemistry of a relationship .. in a major way. (As well it should, as priorites shift toward the child too small to care for himself.)
Add to this change the stress that comes as a result of sleep deprivation .. and some parents might have trouble adapting.
Adding insult to injury, exhausted people are not normally the most 'affectionate'. I'm talking about after the new-parent adrenaline-rush wears off.
So don't think I am unsympathetic toward the new parent and the formidable challenges he faces. I am a casualty myself.
» So anyway
So anyway .. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed this week by the Bug's hyper-warping language skills.
[ I work with him on expanding his vocabulary. Always have. Naming things. Defining words. Still do.
It's important he be able to communicate well .. so he can tell people what's true .. and what ain't. ]
I feel good about HOW he's developing. What a ride it has been. Something inside said, "He's growing up too fast." Where did my little munchkin go? Please slow it down a bit.
Also feeling stoked I made it here with my sanity. Most of it, anyway.
The Bug asked me to be a teacher's helper. So I signed up for that. Have to get a TB test first, tho. Waiting to hear back on the application I submitted.
Was in court again last week (.. uh, not cuz I wanted to be there). It's exhausting. Very stressful. Hence no updates in a while. We do what we gotta do.
Lots of things to share. Normally I know exactly what I'm gonna write about. The topics usually present themselves clearly, ahead of time. Tho recently this hasn't been the case. Many topics competing for discussion.
For example .. lots of people I know are having trouble with relationships. Not sure if it's due to the krappy economy or what. Hate to see friends unhappy .. especially around the holidays.
So if you're happy, keep an eye out for those who might be hurting. Seems to be a lot of that going around.
» Newport Harbor Christmas Boat Parade
Don't forget the 102nd annual Newport Harbor Christmas Boat Parade begins next week (.. Wednesday the 15th thru Sunday the 19th). See ya there!
I'll leave you with a question I had (.. could not find the answer) .. if any of you Nietzsche gurus happen to know »
» Does Nietzsche (the atheist) acknowledge any kind of 'extra-sensory' influences? And if so, how does he account for them?
Cuz life seems to contain things that are difficult to explain in/with purely material / empirical terms. You don't have to call these things 'god'. But there seems to be something 'more' going on .. than mere organic phenomena.
[ .Maybe iT's justa gliTch in the maTrix ]
